Today was, well, interesting. I had a doctor’s appointment for a checkup and got to talk to her about how I’m trying to change my life. She was very proud of what I’ve done in the past two weeks and even asked, “How did you lose that much in 2 weeks?”

My answer?

“I exercised.”

We both laughed and she replied, “Yeah, well that’ll do it. You’re a step above me!”

I have a long history with my doctor. I have been going to Dr. H. since I was 12; I basically grew up with her. She is my mom and sister’s doctor too, so she totally understands my family and always asks about them when I go for an appointment. She knows I’ve struggled with my weight since my very late teens, and knows I’ve tried every diet in the book (even ones she doesn’t approve of). She’s seen my weight creep up and up and up for the past 8-9 years to where I’m at right now. She doesn’t judge. She is very compassionate and knows what a heartache this is for me. Dr. H. knows about my anxiety issues (and prescribes me Xanax as needed). Bottom line – she is amazing. I can honestly say that not wanting to lose her as my primary care physician has been a thought when I’ve considered moving. I just have a really good connection with her and I know that she genuinely cares about me – this isn’t just a job for her.

But I digress.

(oh, there’s a li’l tmi in the next paragraph: you’ve been warned)

So, today Nurse D. took my blood pressure, to see where I’m at since my physical in December (when it was first documented as being high). Today my blood pressure was 149/96. If you don’t know about blood pressure, I can assure you that is not a good number to see. I had never had even the slightest high blood pressure reading before December 2009. This is all so bizarre. In December, Dr. H. mentioned that the first thing to go if my blood pressure stayed high was the birth control pill. (here’s the tmi) Late in December, she told me to stop taking it, which should make my next “time of the month” a blast. I’ve been on the pill for years to help regulate my lady business. Cramps were out of control and I felt like I was losing gallons of blood. (end tmi)

ANYWAYS, so I went off the pill a few weeks ago in the hopes it would lower my blood pressure, but as you can see from my reading today, it was high again. I am supposed to go back to see Dr. H. in a month for another BP check and if it is still high, I will have to start taking medication. High blood pressure medication at the age of 27. Unreal. I held my shiz together til I got to the car and cried my eyes out. I am TOO young for this. I can’t believe I let myself get this fat. I don’t want to die.

Unfortunately for me, even when I do lose the weight, the high blood pressure problem may continue, as there is a long line of family history of blood pressure issues. My mom and my uncle were both on high blood pressure meds in their early 20s and they were both at very healthy weights when they were diagnosed.

So, I’m scared and upset which I’m sure is not doing anything to help my blood pressure (what a catch-22). My doc said we need to get this taken care of or I could have some major problems ahead of me.

So, there you have it… the good news, the bad news and a li’l tmi.